This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Kim Jong chub: How to stay trim and fit while oppressing your people from isolation
PYONGYANG – The Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) confirmed that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Chong Un is calling himself "a new Dear Leader" devoted to a life of health and fitness.
According to DIA spokesman Maj. Gordon Moody, a severe illness caused Kim's recent disappearance from public view. This brush with death motivated Kim to commit himself to getting “totally cut” in six months.
Reports indicate that Kim installed a running track outside his home along with deliveries of a full Olympic-grade weight set, five pallets of "Sports Bang" energy drinks, and a Peloton bike.
More Stories
Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
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Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
SECDEF_Nice
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Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
SECDEF_Nice
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Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
Duffel Blog Staff
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Americans begin thanking troops for future service
Carl
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Pentagon limits combat casualties to normal business hours
Bad Lawyer
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