ST. GEORGE, S.C. – In an impasse that may hinder American political discourse for generations, local man Ronald Jeremiah is currently unable to post a Facebook status about a country he cared deeply about last week, because he cannot remember that country’s name.

Jeremiah hopes the status, when completed, will unite Americans across the political aisle with their shared lust for foreign intervention in the name of humanitarianism.

“I know it’s the sort of thing people have gotten excited about before, I just got to be the one to get them riled up again. Where was I talking about, though? Was it Darfur? Or that one with Joseph Kony? Venezuela, maybe? No, I don’t think we ever bothered to get anyone killed over those.”