This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Marine dies after 8 days without haircut
THE PENTAGON – An unnamed Marine died yesterday after a prolonged battle with unchecked hair growth, Pentagon officials announced today.
The deceased had also been identified as being positively infected with COVID-19, the hypervirulent pathogen responsible for over 136,000 deaths worldwide and a global economic meltdown.
“We tell our Marines to have a fresh haircut every week for this exact reason,” said Sgt. Maj. Troy Black, Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps. “As we all know too well, every instruction out there is written in blood.”
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Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
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Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
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Duffel Labs
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DD-214 Fortune Teller
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Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
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