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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Monday, 5 October 2026

Navy & Marines

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

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Vol. 15 · No. 119

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Vol. 15 · No. 119 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

5 October 2026

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· Page 2

Marine commandant says those sharing nude photos have no balls

Filed · 1535

WASHINGTON — Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Robert Neller apparently responded to Marines within the ranks who have allegedly shared nude photos of their colleagues on Tuesday, proclaiming in a recent video that personnel who engage in such behavior are a bunch of dishonorable turds with absolutely no balls.

"So let me cut to the chase," Neller said. "When I hear allegations of Marines denigrating their fellow Marines, I punch my aide in the face and ask 'why are you disturbing my happy time?'"

"But let me tell you right now: You have no, I repeat, no fucking balls. You are scum-sucking maggots that I'd be happy to crush with my boot heel," he added, stomping his boot on the ground to dramatic effect while shouting "kill!"

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