CAMP PENDLETON, CA — A U.S. Marine putting the finishing touches on an "epic moto video" of numerous war crimes committed during a deployment to Afghanistan last year can't quite figure out what music track he should use, sources confirmed today.

"Look at this epic video bro," said Cpl. Jason Angers, in his barracks room at Camp Horno. "It's got everything: firefights, explosions, cutting off enemy ears. Everything."

The roughly five-minute long short film, put together in Windows Movie Maker, features Angers and his platoon patrolling through Afghanistan — at times engaging the enemy — and sometimes passing out candy to kids.