UNDISCLOSED LOCATION — A decorated US Marine Corps Scout Sniper on his seventh deployment has set a military-wide record for the most confirmed divorces, sources confirmed today.

Staff Sgt. Jeremy Hoffman, who is deployed in support of Operation Inherent Resolve, received his divorce certificate today in the mail, marking the outstanding achievement of having personally eliminated 11 marriages.

"Step aside, SEALs and Rangers — let the Marines show you how it's done," said the 12-year veteran, as loud cheers and 'oorahs' erupted from his platoon as he held up his certificate for all to see. "This is how you engage and finish a matrimony before it finishes you!"

Hoffman — known as "Rapid-fire," "Hitch-slayer," and "the Hoff" — joined the Marine Corps at as an 0311 Rifleman soon after he turned 19. Upon arriving at his first unit, the young Pfc. was subjected to long hours in the field, living in mold-infested barracks, and working menial details, such as painting rocks and sweeping dirt driveways.