FORT BENNING, Ga. — In 1972, a crack admin unit was issued a letter of reprimand by a military court for a clerical error they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a mountain of paperwork through some quick bureaucratic footwork. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as clerks of fortune. If you need to correct an error on your service record; if no one else can help clear up that pay issue; if you catch them before lunch; maybe you can finally get that travel voucher processed by… the B-Team.

After years of operating in the shadows, the daring exploits of the Army’s 75th Adjutant Regiment have finally been declassified. Duffel Blog sat down with the brave soldiers involved. [Editor’s Note: Due to the danger these men face, both from vengeance-seeking foreign entities and the U.S. government itself, we have agreed to protect their identities by using pseudonyms.]

“These are the finest soldiers I’ve ever had the pleasure of serving with,” said former unit commander, Steve Anderson, who is rumored to have done three tours pushing paper for the Green Berets, “Greg Johnson once filed an award write-up the very day he received it. And old Jimmy ‘Machine Gun’ Reynolds types 97 words per minute, on account of the fact he has six fingers on each hand.”

Anderson spoke highly of the elite commando unit’s ability to deploy inside an air-conditioned trailer behind friendly lines, anywhere in the world, at a moment's notice.