SOMEWHERE IN CYBERSPACE—Infamous military conspiracy theorist and U.S. Marine Corps veteran John Lazarus has a problem: He can’t believe it’s not butter. Moreover, Lazarus has a new theory that he’s been sharing across Reddit and the rest of the internet: It is butter.

Lazarus recently told his dozen of followers, “I knew this one went deep when I saw the stuff in the mess prior to me being NJ—I mean, choosing to leave the Corps because my eyes were opened to the realities of so many monstrous actions.

He added, “Just do your own research bro. You’ll find the truth.”