BETHESDA, MD – Dozens of Naval Support Activity (NSA) Bethesda commuters have expressed their frustration while waiting to drive onto the installation this morning, as it appears that cocky little Master at Arms (MA) standing gate guard is really taking his sweet fucking time scrutinizing both sides of every goddamned ID handed to him.

“Get a load of Seaman ‘Ray-Ban’ over there, holding up IDs to match the face like we’re at Threatcon Delta or some bullshit,” said Chief Hospital Corpsman Lorenzo Cliff, as he waited ten cars back while watching that arrogant little E-nothing scour over common access cards (CAC) like some Jew-hating Gestapo demanding Gypsies show their papers.

“It’s not as if those of us who actually work for a living have to be at muster on time, though, right?” Cliff added from the driver’s seat of his 1992 Ford Festiva. “So I really don’t mind just farting along here, hoping to cross the gate by lunchtime.”