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Actual issue preview

This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.

Story Roundup

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

Situation Report

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

Military police buy 92% of world’s truck Nutz, study finds

FAYETTEVILLE — A new study released by the Consumer Reporting Agency has found that military police officers purchase the vast majority of the world’s Truck Nutz, steroids, and penis enlargement pills.

The study concluded the average military police officer buys three pairs of Truck Nutz, with most attaching one pair to their truck, one to their patrol car, and one above their desk. The study found this was the most efficient way to ensure they have balls in their face at all times.

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