USS BOXER – A Meal, Ready-to-Eat (MRE) aboard the amphibious assault ship USS Boxer says it would be nice to have some foreplay prior to getting torn from its packaging and ratfucked by whichever Marine eventually pulls it out of its cardboard box in search of a late night snack.

Though the Menu 7 Beef Brisket MRE says it’s keenly aware that whomever its hungry suitor turns out to be will most likely rip open its plastic bag and wastefully discard all of its edible contents with the exception of one or two choice items, the pre-packaged food stuff is still holding out hope that it might be able to "get a little somthin’-somethin’" prior to the aforementioned ratfucking.

"I know we’re out to sea and people are busy executing the mission," said the MRE, "so it’s not like I’m expecting the same romantic treatment I’d get from some unemployed doomsday prepper who has the time to go nice and gentle while masticating upon all my nutritional goodness."