LITTLE CREEK, Va. — With base gyms now open, sources report that the newly reported Admiral in charge of your command has taken the liberty of hosting a lively conversation with you while standing fully nude.

“He was just talking to this me like we were in the office or something, with his manhood just swinging in the wind,” said victim Petty Officer Ted Carter.

The Admiral launched into subjects like how his family has had to cope with quarantine and changes in work schedule while not once reaching for an article of clothing to at least make it seem like he intends on getting dressed. Onlookers began to contemplate how to address the situation but given his rank, opted to just leave PO Carter to suffer in silent awkwardness.