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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 129 · Wednesday, 28 October 2026

Army

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

Soldiers describe Halloween attraction as more frightening than combat deployment

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia

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Vol. 15 · No. 129

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Duffel Blog

Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 129 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

28 October 2026

0109 Zulu

Next edition Friday

← Front page
· Page 2

Naked admiral still talking to you in gym locker room

Filed · 1550

LITTLE CREEK, Va. — With base gyms now open, sources report that the newly reported Admiral in charge of your command has taken the liberty of hosting a lively conversation with you while standing fully nude.

“He was just talking to this me like we were in the office or something, with his manhood just swinging in the wind,” said victim Petty Officer Ted Carter.

The Admiral launched into subjects like how his family has had to cope with quarantine and changes in work schedule while not once reaching for an article of clothing to at least make it seem like he intends on getting dressed. Onlookers began to contemplate how to address the situation but given his rank, opted to just leave PO Carter to suffer in silent awkwardness.

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