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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Thursday, 22 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

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Vol. 15 · No. 126 · Deployed worldwide

Thursday

22 October 2026

1137 Zulu

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Army · Page 4

National Guard soldier keeps saying she's in the Army

Filed · 1532

BENTONVILLE, Ark. — A National Guard soldier tried to repeatedly claim that she was in the Army last night, according to a number of witnesses at Creekside Grille, sources confirmed today.

Mary Deerhorn, a lieutenant colonel attached to Arkansas’s 153rd Infantry regiment, mentioned her part-time military service after complimenting waiter Don Simmons’ “MY BROTHER’S KEEPER” forearm tattoo, which he said was inspired by his dedication to the JROTC program at Bentonville High School.

“Oh, great,” Deerhorn said, according to witnesses. "I’m in the Army, too. 153rd Infantry regiment.”

“I’m sorry,” asked Simmons. "You transferred from active duty into the guard or…?”

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