WASHINGTON — The next Commandant of the Marine Corps has announced that the first policy he'll instate when he takes the helm this summer is to bring back the beloved tradition of rolling trouser legs.

"From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli, Marines have proudly rolled their pantaloons on many a foreign shore," said Lt. Gen. David Berger. "I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, 'Sir, when will we go back to trousers up?' Well, Marines, your leadership has listened. It's high time to show off those calves."