FORT BRAGG, NC – Soldiers from the 349th Military Police Company recently contacted Duffel Blog, complaining that Army First Lieutenant David "Kip" Francis talks incessantly about his new boyfriend in graphic detail, despite nobody ever asking the young officer, who recently revealed he is homosexual.

“The LT will not shut up about ‘Paolo', his new Brazilian boyfriend,” reported Sergeant First Class Will Moore, 1LT Francis’ platoon sergeant. “We were getting ready to do flutter kicks yesterday morning and he told the entire formation that he’d be lucky to keep up, being so sore from the ‘vicious pile-driving’ Paolo gave him the night before. I mean, c’mon, TMI, right?”

Fellow platoon leaders in the 349th expressed similar feelings.