FORT MEADE — Capt. Olivia McCord is leaving the Army and military-industrial complex to work as a planner in the wedding-industrial complex.

In her announcement last week, McCord said that she’s thankful for all that the war machine has provided to her: a stable paycheck, superficially impressive awards, and lifelong benefits courtesy of the American taxpayer. But it’s time to go. She’s trading weapons for wedding cakes and endless wars for forever love.

McCord’s resignation came as a surprise to many. When asked about her decision to leave, McCord explained the military has changed since she joined, and not for the better.

McCord joined to work for ‘the man.’ She felt comforted by the industry’s seemingly indestructible presence in society, and the financial security that came with it.