Oh, no! This bridezilla wants her bridesmaids in full MOPP 4

For more than a decade, we've deployed pitch perfect satire to service members around the world.

Join thousands of troops, veterans, and defense insiders who read Duffel Blog before breakfast.

“A must-read for national security nerds.”

—The Daily Beast

Free. No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.

14years publishing

4,200+dispatches filed

20,000+readers briefed

LUKE AFB, Ariz.—Tech. Sgt. Ashley Ferris' bridesmaids are reeling after finding out what they would be wearing to her wedding this summer. In a sassy group message, Ferris revealed they would all need to get fitted for "super sexy MOPP gear."

Mission Oriented Protective Posture (MOPP) equipment is head-to-toe outerwear used to protect troops from chemical and biological threats. The entire suit can weight up to 40lbs and requires the user to breathe through a gas mask. The wedding in Phoenix is scheduled to take place outside in August, and is expected to be a long one, as the bride and groom—both Brit Lit majors—wrote their own vows.

"She is bat shit crazy if she thinks I'm going to look like the princess of Chernobyl," said Staff Sgt. Lisa Brant, a coworker and the maid of honor. "Its going to be 200 degrees, and I'll have to drink champagne through a charcoal filter."

Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.

A State Department map that relocated most of Africa, one ambitious government travel card, and 5,200 medical students moved from dorms that definitely do not have mold.

More Stories

West Point removes ‘honor’ from ‘duty, honor, country’ ethos

Troops receive citizenship upgrade, spouses still eligible for deportation

Sleeping Marine aces hearing test

Trump mulls leaving seamen in Iran without Plan B

Congress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefits

Hegseth declares blow jobs not gay if both men are fit, clean-shaven

Opinion

Start Here