The following address was delivered by Capt. Vince Williams at his Headquarters Company change of command ceremony.

Good morning everyone. I won’t start with our battalion motto because the very sound of it makes my stomach curdle and my jaw clench with an unholy rage.

Eighteen months ago I stood right here and thanked the battalion commander for the privilege and honor of leading an infantry rifle company in combat and in garrison. You all have no idea how happy I was to hand over control of that lunatic asylum. I took some leave and came back prepared to spend my last six months in the Army behind a nice comfortable desk up at the Division Headquarters waiting for my unqualified resignation to process.

After command was over I had managed to convince Sheila to come home with the girls, and we were working on repairing the train wreck that my marriage had become. We’d even started sleeping in the same bed again. I had also started a nice routine with my AA group off-post, and was clean and sober for almost three weeks. That was when I got the call that the HHC commander had been caught making inappropriate comments on his personal Facebook page and that I would be the new commander.