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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Wednesday, 30 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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Vol. 15 · No. 117

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 117 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

30 September 2026

1022 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

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· Page 2

12th day of Christmas looks like 4th day of Christmas, underway sailor reports

“They say every day is Monday on the ship."

Filed · 1808

NORFOLK, Va. — Petty Officer 1st Class Ted Gladfelter, a gunner’s mate onboard the USS Gerald R. Ford (CVN-78), reports that the 12th Day of Christmas pretty much looks like the 4th day of Christmas while underway.

“On the 4th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a handjob in the fan room,” Gladfelter sang to himself while waking up in the same rack, about to eat the same breakfast chow, on another day of the merry holiday season.

“On the 6th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a handjob in the fan room.”

Chief Petty Officer Dan Krenshaw, Gladfelter’s immediate supervisor, let Gladfelter know that if the fan room behavior continues, he’ll meet up with “five golden ring-knockers,” what Krenshaw describes as “festive slang for the officers at his captain’s mast.”

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