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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Sunday, 27 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Sunday

27 September 2026

2310 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

Archdukes across Europe hiring extra security details

Better safe than sorry.

Filed · 0500

Reprinted from our sister publication, Dùffle Bløg Europe

BRUSSELS — Archdukes across Europe are beefing up their security details following a full-scale Russian attack on Ukraine.

“We’ve seen this picture show before, ahem,” claimed Archduke Peter Von Fishburn-Waldrop III, of County Hampshire, as he took snuff. “Whenever a world war is about to break out, one of us is inevitably assassinated, ahem.”

Archdukes are contracting mercenaries, hirelings, sell-swords, adventurers-about-town, and various other soldiers of fortune to round out their security details.

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