By Bad Lawyer

FORT HOOD, Texas — Army Culinary Specialist William Boyardee was served with an Article 15 for desserting his post during the meal service period at Fort Hood on Wednesday.

Sources say Boyardee allegedly desserted his post for at least two hours, serving individual pudding cups and mini cheesecakes to any soldier who came through his line.

Boyardee, who goes by the nickname “Chef” among his peers, was surprised by the swift and unjust reprisal against his actions.

“Here I thought I was doing something nice for everybody since Fort Hood has had such an… unlucky year,” said a distraught Chef while taking shots of whip cream straight from the can. “Instead my CO spots me and goes all bananas fosters on my ass.”