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Army hopeful new combat fitness test will turn the tide of war in Afghanistan

PENTAGON — After 40 years of the same physical fitness test, the Army has announced a new combat focused test that will reverse its recent spate of war loses dating back to Vietnam, sources confirmed today.

“The new test is combat-focused,” said Esper. “It’s a game changer. Clearly our inability to properly test our soldiers’ physical fitness levels has led to some poor outcomes in recent conflicts.”

The Army Combat Readiness Test is a massive change to the current assessment and will include six events: the deadlift, power throw, push-up, sprint/drag/carry, leg tuck, and 2 mile run.

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