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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Monday, 28 September 2026

Air & Space

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

28 September 2026

1246 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Biden reminds everyone that he has presidential immunity

“Not that I had anything to do with those potshots at my Vice President Trump. I only killed Medicare.”

Filed · 0502

WASHINGTON — Shortly after a near-miss assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump, President Joe Biden held a press conference to remind everyone that he has presidential immunity.

“Thanks to a recent ruling by the Supreme Court, I have complete immunity,” Biden told reporters. “Not that I had anything to do with those potshots at my Vice President Trump. I only killed Medicare.”

Indeed, Biden’s closest advisors confirmed that they conducted a lengthy analysis of what actions a president could take after the recent ruling in Trump v. United States. These include potentially sending SEAL Team 6 to assassinate a political opponent, using the CIA to dig up dirt on critics such as George Clooney, and taking shotgun in a car even when everyone knows you were not the first to call it.

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