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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Friday, 16 October 2026

OpFor

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

Tehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

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Vol. 15 · No. 124

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Established 2012 · Deployed worldwide

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

16 October 2026

2044 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Chaplain’s wife drives to different state in disguise to buy dildo

Filed · 1552

OKLAHOMA CITY, Okla.—The wife of Army Chaplain Mike Phillips, Amy, has just been spotted entering a dildo store 350 miles from her home, sources confirm.

According to anecdotal reports, it is often difficult for spouses of the clergy to indulge in their love of cock, due to the busybody nature of congregants and parishioners. Spouses in need of “marital aids,” costumes, and restraints must travel far outside the Fort Hood area to procure the items required for a satisfying, make-you-weep orgasm.

Mrs. Phillips declined to comment to Duffel Blog reporters, but another chaplain’s wife offered some thoughts on condition that her real name not be used.

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