WASHINGTON — In news sure to shock millions this holiday season, recently declassified CIA documents have revealed that Santa Claus was shot down and killed in Cambodian airspace in 1971.
The trove of over 700 pages documenting the top secret mission has shed new light on the dangers involved in spreading Christmas cheer to active war zones.
“It was supposed to be a typical airdrop. Toys, cigarettes, ammo, the usual. But our intel was bad and things went downhill quick,” reads an interview that was conducted with a crew elf in Santa’s unit after the mission. “We didn’t know the [North Vietnamese Army] had anti-aircraft weapons. Colonel Claus came in fast and low for a candy cane run, and the bastards blew him out of the sky.”
