AUSTIN, Texas – Weeks after rescinding his offer to buy Twitter, Elon Musk has placed a bid to purchase Army Knowledge Online (AKO) for $28 Billion from the Department of Defense (DoD). The platform, which was sunset by the DoD in 2021 and did not work correctly for years prior to that, was not actively for sale before Musk’s proposal.

Described by experts as “shittier Gmail,” the AKO system contains a plethora of features including a chat function, awards and paperwork routing, and online directories all of which have never worked correctly.

“When the Army created AKO the intent was to develop a worse, military version of multiple existing civilian applications and force Soldiers to use it,” stated Gen. Wade Adams, former Project Chief for AKO. “We’re thrilled that these poorly designed, inoperable features will still be available to users for years to come.”