FAYETTEVILLE, NC — Regional adult entertainment establishment owners are putting their asses out there for a change and leading a massive weapons donations drive for Ukraine, sources confirmed today.“Yep, we’re sending arms to Ukraine,” said Salvatore “Sonny” Sabarro, owner of the popular Cheetah 4 “Kitty Glitter” gentleman’s club in Fayetteville. “This is hella more important than hosting bachelor parties for Fort Bragg kids getting married way too young.”

Sabarro’s donation drive began soon after Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s recent visit to Washington in which commenter Tucker Carlson described the president as “dressed like the manager of a strip club.”

“If that was meant as a burn it didn’t work,” Sabarro said, “Zelensky came off as a badass, and I wear suits by Dolce & Gabbana.”

Sabarro realized an opportunity to help Ukraine by donating excess self-defense firearms from the Fayetteville and Camp Lejeune areas.