"Guys Who Almost Joined" and "Guys Who Will Never Make It on the Outside" unite as "Guys Who Won't Shut Up About It"
They loved their DIs, still had to punch them
“Bro, it’s pretty much just an operator hang out”
The national security community is abuzz this week following reports that the “Guys Who Almost Joined the Military” have teamed up with the “Guys Who Will Never Make It on the Outside” to form a supergroup of “Guys Who Won’t Shut Up About It at the Bar”.
“This alliance is almost as monumental as the time Recon, Scout Sniper, Special Forces, SEAL, and Door Gunner were merged into a single military occupational specialty during Vietnam,” said defense analyst Micah Cooper. “Which, of course, was everyone’s MOS at the time. Apparently, a pre-requisite was an assured future inattention to personal hygiene.”
When it comes to unsolicited bar conversations, members of this new supergroup might even outshine the “Guys Who Claim They Were SEALs Even Though They Were an Admin Attachment and Broke Their Leg During the First Week of BUD/S”, Cooper says.
“‘The Guys Who Almost Joined’s” self-consciousness and insatiable lust to tell everyone about it, combined with the emotional instability and inability to move on of the ‘Guys Who Will Never Make It on the Outside’, yields a nearly-impenetrable torrent of uninvited dialogue to virtually anyone at the pub,” he said. “The two meld so harmoniously that it’s hard to tell them apart.”
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