FORT HOOD, Texas — In a speech to his assembled battalion Tuesday, Sgt. Maj. Wade Thompson of the First Sustainment Brigade, First Cavalry Regiment, emphasized to his Soldiers that they must remain firm in the face of adversity. Thompson further reinforced his impassioned and motivational message by delivering it while visibly aroused.
The content of the speech focused mainly around navigating hard times with iron resolve while standing tall and proud. Speaking for a total of 11 minutes, Sgt Maj. Thompson related his message to a variety of professional topics but it was during his foray into standards and discipline that Soldiers first noticed an increasing bulge in the senior NCO’s pants. By the time Sgt Maj Thompson began explaining how vehicle maintenance relates to the seven Army Values, he was fully erect.
“It seemed like a pretty run of the mill speech,” said Sgt. Ronald Douglas. “But as he got further into it I think we could all feel him getting more passionate and we could definitely see that reflected on the front of his pants.”
As is typical of his speeches, Sgt. Maj. Thompson delivered his address from the bed of a HMMWV, which in this instance allowed him to maintain intense eye contact with his Soldiers as his erection grew. After the speech, several soldiers expressed surprise that the NCO failed to tuck his rock hard penis into his waistband, a move known Army wide as Boner Drill 1-Alpha.
“It was an important topic especially for junior Soldiers and young NCO’s worried about the current state of affairs,” said Sgt. Douglas. “And delivering it with what amounted to a third knife hand in clear view, really helped drive the message home.”