By 29ReasonsWhy

ST. GEORGE, S.C. – In an impasse that may hinder American political discourse for generations, local man Ronald Jeremiah is currently unable to post a Facebook status about a country he cared deeply about last week, because he cannot remember that country’s name.

Jeremiah hopes the status, when completed, will unite Americans across the political aisle with their shared lust for foreign intervention in the name of humanitarianism.

“I know it’s the sort of thing people have gotten excited about before, I just got to be the one to get them riled up again. Where was I talking about, though? Was it Darfur? Or that one with Joseph Kony? Venezuela, maybe? No, I don’t think we ever bothered to get anyone killed over those.”

“It’s real frustrating,” Jeremiah admitted. “I’ve got this great bit in here about how it’s on us as Americans to protect women’s rights all over the world. And the punchline is ‘even in faraway lands like _____.’ I just can’t remember what to put there! It’s…