QUANTICO, Va. — A student at the Marine Corps' Basic School has seen one too many buttholes and swears she will quit if one more student drops trousers.

Second Lt. Lisa Nickel, who is four months into the Marine Corps’ rigorous field training course at The Basic School, complains that the overwhelming heat combined with dehydration, or “just a lack of awareness of what happens if you decide to go down,” guarantees that at least one student’s butthole is exposed each day.

“Female Marines, male Marines. I’ve seen them all,” said fellow trainee 2nd Lt. David Ross. “And what I’ve seen go in those buttholes. You don’t even want to know.”