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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0928 Zulu

Next edition Monday

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· Page 2

New DoD language regulation bans 'indecent language', soldiers fucking pissed

Filed · 1547

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Military recruit training is known for changing the way servicemembers walk, talk, eat, and sleep, but all have not been equally enforced. Today however, the element of "talk" comes under increased scrutiny as the Department of Defense released new plans to set a military-wide language usage standard.

The guidance from the Pentagon is for all branches to form doctrines of language use within the next six months. They left room to maneuver for each service, but there was one thing they were dead set on being standard across the board: No usage of profanity.

Profanity has been against regulations under General Article 134 for some time already, but has rarely seen troops held to the standard. Today's change means the penalty for using "indecent language" is mandatory reduction in rank -- and possible termination from service.

“We have been moving our way to a kinder and more professional military for some time now. Making ourselves into a good role model for the kids of this nation and to the world. This just seems like the next logical step,” said General Arnold Fucke, head of the Chaplain Corps. “The use of curse words has no place in the military. We should aspire to be better all around as soldiers and as people. I don’t see any reason why you need to curse to get that done.”

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