By W.E. Linde

MOSCOW — Russian President Vladimir Putin today offered an unexpected olive branch to his Ukrainian counterpart, President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, by inviting him to meet for peace talks “and to drink some very delicious tea. For friendship.”

“President Zelenskyy has shown surprising courage in resisting my demands,” Putin said during an interview with the official Russian State News agency TASS, wearing what his aides called his Peace Ceremony CBRN uniform as he personally prepared a “state secret family tea” recipe.

“There is nothing I admire more than someone preventing me from getting what I want,” continued Putin. “It would be an honor to have him come to Moscow for peace talks. He can enjoy my delicious tea, and maybe also take in the beautiful view of Moscow that one can only enjoy from an open window at least 15 stories high.”