FORT HOOD, Texas — More than 17 soldiers were admitted to Darnall Army Hospital for serious injuries after a riot broke out yesterday over a menu typo at a base dining facility, officials say. Dozens more were treated on-scene for minor injuries.

“We knew there was going to be a problem about an hour before chow started, when we noticed a group of like 600 soldiers waiting outside, smoking Newports and talking about Kelly Rowland,” said Spc. Jayne Cobb, a cook who works in the Desert Storm DFAC. “As it got closer to opening time, they started getting restless and pounding on the door.”

Curious as to why so many soldiers were uncharacteristically enthusiastic about eating the DFAC’s normal Thursday lunchtime selection of Shit on a Shingle, creamed corn, spinach, and lemon square, the cooking staff opened a window and asked a soldier what the commotion was about. That’s when they realized their error.

“As soon as he said ‘we’re here for the hot dark mommas,’ I knew we’d screwed up the menu…