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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Friday, 25 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

25 September 2026

1838 Zulu

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Army · Page 4

Walz faces court martial for 'veteraning while Democrat'

"A profound betrayal of all men and women that put on the uniform.”

Filed · 0502

WASHINGTON — Vice Presidential Candidate Tim Walz has been informed that he will face a military court-martial for “veteraning as a Democrat.”

According to the Uniform Code of Military Justice Sub-Chapter 10, Section 947, Article 147, “no former military service member, in any capacity, shall be considered honorable if the service member later runs as a Democrat in any election.”

“I don’t care if you served for four years, 20 years, or 40 years,” said Army spokesperson Maj. Yolanda Pierson, “Once you run as a Democrat, it’s a profound betrayal of all men and women that put on the uniform.”

A records review showed that Governor Walz did indeed choose to run for election as a Democrat and, in fact, has been doing so brazenly for years.

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