THE PENTAGON – After media reports that U.S. forces had struck a Syrian dam that had been on a “No-Strike List” because of the potential risk of killing thousands of civilians, senior Pentagon officials admitted that military planners accidentally mistook the No-Strike List (NSL) for the completely different No, Strike List (N,SL).

“This was a highly unusual mistake,” said Gen Kenneth McKenzie Jr, CENTCOM commander. “The No-Strike List is kept in an easily identifiable red binder in a poorly lit Targets Division office, while the No, Strike List is easily distinguishable in its bright maroon binder. Also, instead of a dash between “No” and “Strike,” there’s a comma. That’s blatant.”

“These two documents are fundamental to how we wage war these days,” explained Col. Gary “Striker” Willis, former commander of Task Force 9, the unit that conducted the attack. “The NSL tells us ‘hands-off,’ that we can’t hit a certain target without extensive approvals because of collateral damage concerns. The N,SL tells us which targets we seriously do need to strike. They’re totally different, so how this sort of thing happened is a mystery.”