This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Pentagon vows to upgrade burn pits into ball pits
THE PENTAGON — Responding to increasing pressure from Congress and veterans organizations regarding the potential negative health effects of burn pits, the Pentagon today finally promised concrete action.
“We’re going to upgrade any current or future burn pits and turn them into awesome ball pits,” said Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jonathon R. Hoffman.
“While there hasn’t been any conclusive proof that burn pits actually cause health problems,” said Hoffman, “it’s understandable why our men and women would not want to be around them. Have you seen them? Disgusting. Who wouldn’t complain about a the hellscape that is those burn pits?”
Lt. Col. Philip Faust, an assistant for the press secretary, agreed.
More Stories
West Point removes ‘honor’ from ‘duty, honor, country’ ethos
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Troops receive citizenship upgrade, spouses still eligible for deportation
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Sleeping Marine aces hearing test
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Trump mulls leaving seamen in Iran without Plan B
SECDEF_Nice
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Congress proposes veterans fight to the death for expanded benefits
Sgt B
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Hegseth declares blow jobs not gay if both men are fit, clean-shaven
Gray Sea Liu
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Duffel Labs
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