KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — A Rage Against the Machine USO reunion tour took an unexpected turn Sunday after the entire audience defected and swore allegiance to the Taliban, sources reported.

Opening with their hit “Wake Up” to cheers from the audience, the song later reached the final verse, with the lyrics: “Through counter-intelligence it should be possible to pinpoint potential trouble-makers ... And neutralize them, neutralize them, neutralize them,” as the audience screamed in elation.

“Neutralize them! That’s what we do motherfuckers!” Private First Class Nathan Jackson shouted along with other soldiers. “Neutralize this, asshole!" he screamed, taking off his reflective belt and throwing it at a nearby Staff Sergeant. He then began to rock so hard he shoved his hands in his pockets.

After Jay left the stage, Rage began a cover of Anti-flag’s “Die for the Government,” where singer Zach de la Rocha repeated the line “You’re gonna die for the government, die for your country that’s shit” four times. Soldiers in the audience became rowdy as their hearts and minds were swayed by the music.