FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. — Soldiers in the 129th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion stared on in disbelief last month after watching some fucking asshole pack a guitar for an upcoming Joint Readiness Training Center (JRTC) deployment, sources said.

Spc. Riley Freeland, 20, of Clackamas, Oregon, reportedly drew the ire of nearly everyone in his battalion after the idealistic jerkoff spent approximately four hours blocking and bracing a $23 acoustic guitar he bought at a local pawn shop like it was a goddamn Ming vase.

"Everyone needs a little music to keep you motivated," said the Grade-A, asshole son-of-a-bitch, like he was heading off to Omaha Beach. "Plus, with all of the downtime I'll have plenty of time to learn some songs I have been putting off for a while."

"Whatever I can do to keep everyone's minds off being away from home, you know?" added the righteous piece of fuck.