SEOUL — President Donald Trump reportedly cancelled plans for a last minute visit to the demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea upon learning that the DMZ wasn’t celebrity news organization TMZ, Duffel Blog has learned.

“I texted [TMZ managing editor] Harvey [Levin] and said, Harvey, you’ve got to be kidding me. What’re you paying per square foot out here? It’s like a wasteland. I wouldn’t build a hotel here for a weekend with [1988 Playmate of the Year] Kim Conrad,” Trump told reporters.

The president took off in a helicopter early Tuesday morning, but ordered it grounded upon learning that the demilitarized zone, known as the “DMZ,” was not the celebrity gossip news headquarters, according to sources. Over the rotor wash and engine noise, he was heard comparing North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un in unfavorable terms to model Kim Conrad.