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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 129 · Wednesday, 28 October 2026

Army

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

Army officials insist neither event can be rescheduled without losing deposit

Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 129 · Deployed worldwide

Wednesday

28 October 2026

1155 Zulu

Next edition Wednesday

← Front page
· Page 2

Retiring NCO craps on unit's morale one last time

Filed · 1551

FORT BENNING, Ga. — Just one month from his final change of responsibility, Sgt. Maj. Christopher Roth realized that he needed one more emotional boost before his retirement. He had noticed things in his unit were going too well. Roth informed subordinate leaders that they would pointlessly hold formation one hour prior to morning flag call for no reason for an entire week.

"I knew my soldiers would expect nothing less from me, as I say my final farewell to the unit" said Roth. "When I was a young private, my leaders did pointless things, so why wouldn't I follow in their footsteps?"

Even though this isn't the worst thing Roth has put his Soldiers through during his time in command, he is sure it will be the perfect way to lower the unit's morale just enough for his successor to have an easier time to look like a good leader.

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