MOSCOW — Just days after awarding former NSA contractor Edward Snowden honorary Russian citizenship, the Russian government confirmed that Snowden has been drafted into the Russian army to fight in Ukraine.
The 39-year-old NSA leaker had just finished accepting his citizenship and talking about the importance of oversight in government intelligence operations when Russian President Vladimir Putin suddenly walked into the room.
"You're absolutely right, Comrade," Putin said, putting his arm around the surprised Snowden. "Say... you know where we could really use some oversight? In Ukraine!" Witnesses said Snowden then noticed the draft notice stapled to the bottom of his citizenship papers.
Following the press conference, Snowden was immediately hustled into a van for transportation to the nearest Russian Army training facility, where he was given a uniform and told to find his own sleeping bag and advanced electronic warfare equipment.
