This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Sailor getting tired of waiting around to push missile launch button
MEDITERRANEAN SEA — A sailor on the USS Barry (DDG-52) off the coast of Syria is getting extremely tired of waiting around to push a big red missile launch button, sources confirmed today.
As a fire controlman, FC2 Brian Andrews, 23, has received extensive training in operation and maintenance of electronic equipment on the Tomahawk missile system, as well as practice runs with the fire control system.
"Now, I'd just like to press the goddamn button already," Andrews told reporters as he hovered his finger over the button that could launch a missile right up Assad's asshole. "I mean, come on! What are we waiting for here?"
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