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Airman, guardsman heroically subdue media interest in female Army Rangers

PARIS, France — Two American servicemen are being hailed after they subdued media interest in female Army Rangers, sources confirmed today. A civilian who also participated is being widely disregarded.

Sr. Airman Spencer Stone and Oregon National Guard Spc. Alek Skarlatos acted swiftly to move the news cycle along after it remained stagnant on the topic of women in combat for more than week, by tackling a man who apparently opened fire on a high speed train in France.

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