This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Soldier with Bob Marley poster really just doesn't need to pee
JOINT BASE LEWIS-MCCHORD, Wash. — What began as a simple drug screening at 5 a.m. has morphed into a battle of wills lasting into the evening, since Spc. Harold Nelson claims he really just doesn't need to pee, sources confirmed today.
"I hate my life," said Staff Sgt. Maria Taylor, a battalion S-3 NCO serving as the Headquarters and Headquarters Company's Unit Prevention Leader (UPL). Staff Sgt. Taylor is responsible for administering the urinalysis and won't be allowed to pick up her children from daycare until after she has collected all samples.
She added: "This little stoner's Bob Marley poster is the entire reason the first sergeant had us conduct this random drug test to begin with."
More Stories
Pentagon facing dangerous shortage of fucks given
Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
|
Opinion: Listen up, assholes. Turn in your excess cruise missiles or everybody stays in formation
Bull Winkle
|
Army Reserve adopts 'Nothing we do today is more important than lunch' as new recruiting slogan
SECDEF_Nice
|
Hegseth mistakes getting older for declining military standards
SECDEF_Nice
|
Duffel Blog’s Top 13 ideas for solving the Iran War
Duffel Blog Staff
|
Americans begin thanking troops for future service
Carl
|
Duffel Labs
A field desk of military mischief and useful bad ideas
Pentagon Buzzword Generator
Generate authentic defense jargon.
Pocket NCO
Leadership advice with a knife hand.
Navy SEAL Book Generator
One click. Instant airport bestseller.
DD-214 Fortune Teller
Your civilian future, declassified.
Military Speech Builder
Remarks for ceremonies and mandatory fun.
Veteran Benefits Finder
Find benefits you might have missed.
View all Labs tools →
