FORT BRAGG, N.C. — A soldier in your platoon who constantly tells ladies about an impressive kill-count on his last deployment has been found out to have mostly spent that time filling sandbags and picking up trash in Kuwait, sources confirmed today.
"So no shit, there I was, ladies," Spc. Mark Barringer, a helicopter mechanic, recently told a group of busty college students on each side of him in a local watering hole. "Those ISIS pukes were charging our tiny base and bullets were flying overhead, whizzing past me as I popped out from behind cover to shoot back, each time sending another motherfucker to meet his maker."
Sources confirmed that Barringer has been exaggerating the dangers of his deployment in front of civilians who don't know better, particularly attractive women at the bars he frequents, keeping in line with military customs, courtesies, and tradition.
