FORT STEWART, Ga. — Spc. Peter Sims has finally decided on a Halloween costume that is sure to get him "some play this year," since he will be attending the various parties and events dressed as a United States Marine, sources confirmed.

Sims, an intelligence analyst in 4-3 Special Troops Battalion (“Sentinel”), hit upon the idea after watching a group of Marines in a bar in downtown Savannah over the summer.

“So these guys were in full Marine getup, with the fancy jackets and the white gloves and whatnot, and they just looked all kinds of squared away. I think they had just come from a buddy’s wedding or something,” Sims explained. “These guys were the dumbest, ugliest primates in the whole place, but it’s like they were automatic 10's just because they were wearing the uniform. And all the bitches in the place just started salivating over them the moment they came in.”

None of the other males in the Savannah bar were able to attract any ladies and the group of jarheads left the bar with, in Sims’ estimation, at least 1.4 females for every Marine.