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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Saturday, 10 October 2026

Pentagon

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

Army says new career field will allow warfighters to focus on lethality while someone else remembers the kids

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

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Vol. 15 · No. 121

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 121 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

10 October 2026

2229 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Soldiers accidentally summon Cthulhu after commander forgets to give weekend safety brief

Filed · 1534

FORT BELVOIR, Va. – It felt like any other Friday as Capt. David Clark was driving home. Unable to get off post before the loud speakers sounded Retreat, he stood at the position of attention outside his car. That's when he began to suspect something was wrong.

"The sky started turning dark red," said Clark, "and I noticed a black funnel cloud swirling off in the distance near my company's barracks."

That's when it dawned on him.

"Fuck me, I forgot to give the safety brief," Clark said to himself.

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