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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 125 · Tuesday, 20 October 2026

Pentagon

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

White House promises largest pay-per-view military event in history

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

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Vol. 15 · No. 125

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Vol. 15 · No. 125 · Deployed worldwide

Tuesday

20 October 2026

0710 Zulu

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← Front page
Air & Space · Page 6

Space Force quarantines lieutenants in wormhole to protect them from COVID-19

Filed · 1549

The Crab Nebula: SECTOR 15

“The days are getting longer. We have been in quarantine here for seven days. The rations are running low. We ran out of beer on the second day. The sector maps are too difficult to understand. We are lost. We are Lieutenants.”

As the high-yield murder machine of the coronavirus burns through the United States a second time, the US Space Force took out-of-this-world desperate measures to secure the health of its most fragile and vulnerable members, second lieutenants. Space Force has sent these precious flowers on quarantine to a wormhole in the Crab Nebula.

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