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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Monday, 28 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 116

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 116 · Deployed worldwide

Monday

28 September 2026

0916 Zulu

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· Page 2

Stolen valor claim after man poses as elite administrative soldier

Filed · 1547

RICHFIELD, OH – On a normal Friday night at the Clearview Bar & Grill, U.S. Army Reservist Specialist Wendell Dukes had ordered his usual Rolling Rock and was minding his business. He had recently returned from deployment to Bagram Air Base, Afghanistan, where the harsh environment had denied him everything, from Wi-Fi to good cell reception to even a decent printer. What it never denied him however, was a sense of pride.

Dukes and his fellow administrative specialists (MOS 42L) had worked hard and earned the respect of their peers and, according to the 19 year-old soldier, “Nothing moves without orders and orders don’t move without us! You have registered mail? Good luck getting it there without our signature!”

So you can imagine Dukes’ dismay when a man he had never seen before -- walked into the bar -- and claimed to be a member of his elite unit.

“He was wearing this—well for lack of a better term, it was a costume-and said he was just back from downrange. He wore some strange medals I hadn't seen before -- crooked -- and I noted right away that not only were his ACUs freshly pressed, but the dead give away was the complete lack of a carpal tunnel brace on the forearm and no paper cuts on the fingers. It was amateur night.”

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